Why people have extramarital affairs?
Speak about a loaded subject that no one wants to speak about, this is it. Funny thing, affairs have been going on since the beginning of the world. Affairs can be filled with evils, cause misery, and other harms. Plus you have to wrap your brain around all the other issues, there’s that truth and sincerety thing, finances, age difference, faith education, remorse, and on and on. I anticipate there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the intention of this article I should define an affair as a long term, maybe years long relationship of a sexual nature between two people of whom one or both are married to other wives/husbands, dating married women.
Why do people have extramarital affairs? There are as many reasons as there are seeking affair. I think mainly though it is only the human state, the need for affection, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and appreciated. Here are a several explanations I have run across.
Physically we as human beings are all sexual beings. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is enjoyable and fun, and sex makes us get away the world for a small period of time. This euphoria exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Somebody can turn the wish on and off, some are brilliant at controlling it and others are so-so at best. But we all have it, young and mature, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the excitement of the chase. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the caring for another individual, for some it is the wish to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the whole romance thing. These desires and yearnings can be so strong they prevail over the taboos society has erected against extramarital affairs. For lots of people the yearnings will overcome their worries and make them risk the wrath of not only their relatives, but the public also. So why, what is the mechanism?
Sex Addicts, possibly some of us are. Sex is extremely good, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically motivated sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not harm your family or anyone else? You will need to minimize the danger you are taking. If you have the attitude that a good affair is one that is advantageous to all, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I think this is the major grouping, gigantic actually. There are many couples whose marital relationships is over, apart from they are comfy in the manner they exist, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your spouse but there is no romance. Also there are the kids to think about. Your funds are so knotted. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to stay as a family besides love and sex.
Physical reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical reasons that stop them implementing the sex operation, at least not with their othere half. An marital affair sometimes solves the trouble while keeping the marriage whole.
Avoidance, sadly this is a common groung I fear. One or the other, as a rule the man is sexually neglecting his spouse for a number of reasons. As a man I truly appreciate you guys neglecting your ladies and making them available to us men of romance, making them “milf wives” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Also there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but malevolent.
Something is just misplaced in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Probably its romance that is missing, maybe it is a lack of love, could be compassion is disappeared, could be it is the intimacy, maybe neglect. Could be we have simply developed distantly, our general interests diverged. Maybe it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my ages, is conflicting of what you want. Maybe I just do not know what I want from the marriage anymore. Could be, just maybe I miss that sensation that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The first reason people give is, they search for the excitement that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to escape, for financial gain, for payback and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.